BIO: Alister Benn lives and works in a secluded Glen on the west coast of Scotland with his wife Ann Kristin. He takes pleasure in sharing his thoughts with others, through his eBooks, video series and mentorships. There is even a chance of face to face workshops again! He is mildly obsessed with watching birds!
By 5am the first light of dawn is filtering into our bedroom. I awake from a troubled night; achy restlessness and odd flashback dreams leave me feeling foggy, but I get up and dress quickly, stashing an energy bar in my down jacket and head out into the dawn.
On a regular work week, when I am committed to zoom sessions and numerous other tasks, I walk the shore of the sea loch; a quick 5km dash before the day starts. This morning I don’t have such a time restraint and I head into the woods behind the house and start climbing the hill with a longer hike in mind. It’s cold, with a hard frost on the grass and my breath fogging the air in front of me.
The air seems crisp and clear, but some clouds over the north western hills threatens precipitation, and before long a few flakes of snow are melting on my jacket. The song of birds surrounds me; a male bullfinch, goldfinches, song thrushes and the chatter of siskins. Every birch tree has a willow warbler in it; tiny insect feeding birds that winter in Sub-Saharan Africa and make their annual trip north for our midge-frenzied summer season. As the sun breaks the ridge, the incongruous mix of hard sparkling frost and willow warblers seems odd to me: It is early May after all! One of today’s target birds is tree pipit and soon enough I find one (in a tree!) – it’s characteristic tail-pumping a welcome sight.
As I make my way up the glen beside the river I am truly alone; it’s not even 6:30 yet and I am on a mission to clear the edge of the oak woods north of our home. The path climbs steadily and I just soak up the calm stillness of dawn.
As is normal for me, my mind wanders. I seem to be at my best when I don’t steer my thoughts, allowing them to drift, quickly focus, then dissolve again. In allowing this day-dreaming meander through my subconscious, I often stir up buried ideas, or make connections between others. I guess day-dreaming serves the same purpose as night dreaming? Sifting through my filing cabinet of the soul!
As I gain altitude spring seems to drop away behind me, especially in the shadowy slopes below the pine trees. Fresh growth is abundant, but there is still space between the leaves, and there is a true sense of transitional texture. I only have my iPhone with me, but take a few record snaps as something urges me to. Should I have my big camera with me? The endless question of the driven artist! I begin to ponder the concept of product, or the concept of producing something. Typically I guess we make products to be consumed by someone else, especially in art; as we ourselves do most of our consuming in the field, which doesn’t rely on an image to validate the experience.
A title comes into my mind “Thoughts on Productivity” and I note it down on my phone. These little snippets must be written down, or they vanish like a neutrino through a latte!
Over the last couple of weeks since I started to make my statements about pulling back from social media and posting less content, I have had huge amounts of support from the community. It seems I am not alone in questioning the purpose of our output and where the real value lies. So, here are some thoughts on productivity!
Manufacture, commerce, business, the arts, education, life?! We seem really focussed on the concept of productivity. We have to add value, sustainable growth, development and progress. Photography is driven by the concept of product: The photograph! You all know I love photography, and I consume photo books with passion, and I am working on my own now; Out of Darkness. But, is the book the product? Is each individual photograph the product? The words that come into my head as I walk the spring oak woods of Scotland are a product, just as I myself am a product.
We are all products; of nature and nurture, of socio-economic realities, of our drives, ambitions and weaknesses. The rise of the summer sap and the elevation of my soulful energy are synonyms, I recognise both the good and the bad of myself in the nature around me.
What is a photograph? Is it the product of planning, being in the right place at the right time, or having the skill to process it “just so?” All of the above, or none are probably equally valid. As I finally pop out the end of the oak woods and gaze across the mountains beyond I come to the conclusion that photographs only exist as a result of every moment we have ever existed before we made it. Not the moment of engagement, or processing, but the culmination of every thought, idea, fear or anxiety. We are the product!
We are the product of living, thinking, dreaming and denying. We are the product of the well worn trail, or the path less trodden. We are the soul of art and the art of soul. If I want to focus on my creativity and my art, I need to work on me; the product! Photographs come from me, and in a beautiful moment of symbiosis, they feed back to me; telling me their stories of hidden insights and metaphors. As I externalise a lifetime of living I see the lines of my ageing eyes in the gnarled oak trunks, yet fresh buds still sprout from those tired old branches. The wind gently rustles the embryonic life, the energy of the sun urges them on; follow the light, rise up.
Hi Alistair, I was watching one of your videos this morn on the indoor bike, as we’re back in lockdown (Victoria, Australia). Your were losing your voice, (it was an old video) so hopefully all is well there. I too often go for an early morning walk and have a quick discussion with myself about taking the big yun or not. A while ago I bought a Fuji X100 V (are we allowed to talk brand names?) which fits snugly in my gilet pocket, which has solved that problem nicely. Anyway, thank you for your ramblings, both verbal and literal and long may they continue. Regards Horalanz, aka Alan
Thanks very much Alan, and sorry for the slow reply. The voice is doing better thanks, I have found a better balance between work and resting! The little camera sounds great, it’s a shame that most of our gear is so cumbersome and intrusive.
Lovely words Alister. It’s a good reminder about how I often need to cultivate the capacity to seek what is significant and to also be willing to question if and when I’m on the right track in judging my own productivity which isn’t very prolific. thank you.
A pleasant read and a line of thought I can connect with. I also lately walk many times carrying just the phone. And the experience of taking the picture is indeed there.
Thanks for the nice moments
Excellent, happy it resonates for you.
Hey mate, thanks for taking us on your walk in the frosty woods. Your incongruous “neutrino through a latte” made me chuckle. And it’s likely only of note to me, but neutrino research was conducted in the iron mine my grandfather worked in Northern Minnesota. And my head can’t get around this–but at the Fermi Accelerator National Laboratory which is close to where I live now, they’d shoot protons 450 miles (underground!) at the mine in Minnesota to try to detect neutrinos. I’ll just have a latte, thanks. https://www-numi.fnal.gov/public/brochure.pdf
LOL, thanks for that, it. seemed like such a lovely simile!
I do detect a shift in human consciousness over the last 5 years and covid has magnified it. Many people having the feeling that something is missing, not understood or changing. For me and I detect u feel it from the article it is the realization that connection to matter is not something u visit when your batteries are low but is needed all the time. We r living in a very stressful and scary time. Yet at the same time a wonderful expansive time of human consciousness. I am wondering whether u can have one without the other. Lovely article
Thanks for the great insight. Yes, I think we can have the connection without the background noise. I have had many times in my life, but the challenge is not to let the hassles surrounding us to interfere with the beauty of a life.
Hi Alister, hope you are both well. Very interesting article. I have, as you know, been going through some major changes in my life and it is interesting how finding peace always comes back to taking photographs and taking them for me. Now obviously I am in a fortunate position being an amateur (in the purest form as you previously addressed in another article) and the biggest decision I have made is in setting up a way that I can travel to all the wild places I want to in Scotland (most likely after this summer’s anticipated stay-cation madness!!!) and take the images I want. So yes at first look it looks as if it is all about getting the shot but I know for me that the whole process and journey of getting to the location is the biggest part of the adventure. The photo is going to represent many things but I suppose at the end it is just capturing a memory and that moment in time which has come about as a result of the impact of the world around me on me. Fascinating when you really start thinking about it. I will be sure to say hello if I see you on the road 😀😀
Thanks Jane! I think of you so often and know what you are going through. I no nobody better equipped to deal with this than you, and I am sure you will find peace, beauty and enduring memories in the landscape. Love you loads and hope we can meet up sometime soon.
Lovely thoughts Alister. Definitely something to think about. On a lighter note, I’m still trying to figure out what “neutrino” is. lol
LOL, Yes, an odd simile 🙂 Thanks hugely for your support, as always. Really appreciated.
Excellent piece of writing. Not sure whether you are familiar with Robert Macfarlane, but certainly some overtones of his style…
Like Robert, you read something and you need to read it again just to make sure you really understand fully the point he is making.
Ah, I see that, thank you for the lovely comparison. I love writing and am enjoying being able to let it flow without the constraints of more formal educational texts.
Each of us has our own path, distinct but eerily similar. Thanks for sharing yours.
Thanks mate, yes, the human condition is a big factor, but we all make our own way.
Thought provoking, and very inspirational
Many thanks for your comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
Ever since I came across your channel just over a year ago, it has helped me develop as a photographer and person. I am currently putting together a zine that reflects my photographic and emotional episodes over the last twelve months.
Like great works, deep feelings always mean more than they are conscious of saying. Great feelings take with them their own universe. ~Albert Camus √
Sincere thanks for your thoughtful and encouraging comment. Really appreciated.
Alistet
We live in the North GA (USA) we we just had Blackberry Winter a few days ago. Two of my beautiful Japanese Maples took a hit—I hope they survive!
I took am searching. My wife is on home hospice for COPD and I recently cracked 3 ribs. My photography is on the back burner and I have not been on my new MacBook Pro since Sun.
As you suggest, I need to do a little interior work on myself.
Keep writing. You are a big help to my Celtic soul!
Sorry to hear of your woes, I hope things improve soon.